I have been here in Boston for less than a week, and everything is new. Following the long series of goodbyes to my familiar places and people, routines and ways in the UK. It was an amazing departure from England, sad and joyful in that way that a goodbye brings to light all of the good things and love that usually live beneath the surface.
I made the decision several months ago to come here, and it became a really long obstacle course of challenges and tasks. Some of those were internal, my fears and anxieties telling me not to do it. A lot of them were external, the administration, red tape and tick boxes that were an initiation all of their own. I was a walking “to-do” list a lot of the time, squeezing in and juggling around the edges of a hectic work life.
In order to get it all done, I almost had to forget what the point of it all was. To blur out the excitement and passion of this whole move, in case it should blur my focus or divert me from my mission.
What a surprise to arrive here and suddenly remember WHY I came! To recall that I dreamt of art school for many years, why it was worth the risk and the hard work. Until now I didn’t let myself feel it, just in case I had made a bad choice or understood myself badly. It turns out I know myself very well, my intuition lead the way and the path is the right one for right now. I feel like I am at home here at art school, like nothing could be easier and yet nothing could be more intensely challenging. It’s time for the Risk-Manager-Project-Manager to take a back seat, and for the artist to come on down.