I recall dragging myself out of bed with lead weights in my pj’s for secondary school, wading through the hangovers at uni’. I’ve never been to school quite like this before. I am there for 12 hours a day partly because there is so much to do, but also because I just can’t help myself.
I am in the flow at some point every day, described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi as the secret to happiness: http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow.html
I landed on my feet with the School of the Museum of Fine Arts, I am relieved to say. I can now admit that the decision was based almost entirely on instinct rather than research. It’s a lot of upheaval (and money) to risk on a hunch, but I just had such a strong YES feeling about it. Oh, and they have a really late admissions deadline, which also helps for those of us who don’t make decisions in a straight line or at the pre-defined time of year.
I am taking what is called a Post Bac Certificate, which is a graduate course that can lead into doing an MFA (swoon) or stand in its own right as an intensive studio experience. At this school you don’t follow a pre-defined syllabus, rather you choose the classes you want to follow from a top-shelf selection of disciplines. Pick and mix. I had my top 40 chart reduced to a mere 15 that I just HAD to take, when I found out that you can pick THREE courses per semester! I decided to focus on oil painting, as that is what I have been yearning for the most.
It’s humbling to be a beginner at something that you want so much to be good at. I feel clumsy and slow and somewhat daunted by how much time and effort it is going to take for me to get where I want to be. Having said that, the journey is wonderful and so I’m taking my mind of the destination most of the time. We are doing such simple technical exercises for now, and yet it still feels like a major internal process – the whole spectrum from self-doubt to elation to pure calm… and then back around we go.
As most of you know, I love a good internal process. So this must be the place for me.